Marie (tazmania6507) wrote in d0rkgirl,
Marie
tazmania6507
d0rkgirl

Sounds like a bunch of dorks...

Subject: FW: 8 Idiots
>
> > > Idiot # 1
> > > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> > poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she
> > caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
> > ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
into
> > the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation
happened
> > to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
> > kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
> > Emergency room right away.
> > >
> > > Idiot # 2
> > >
> > > Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to
> > steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it
> > out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
> > Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out
> > that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
> > activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
> > Boeing.
> > >
> > > Idiot # 3
> > >
> > > A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
Bank
> > of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all
> > your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note
> > to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the
note
> > and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he
> > left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After
> > waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> > teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't
> > the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
his
> > stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip
and
> > that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go
> > back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK"
and
> > left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line
back
> > at the Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
> > couldn't read it anyway.
> > >
> > > Idiot # 4
> > >
> > > A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
> > measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received
> > in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment,
> > he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later,
he
> > received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this
> > time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
> > >
> > > Idiot # 5
> > >
> > > Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
> > the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
> > the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
the
> > shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
> > refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber
> > said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
> > didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license
out
> > of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and
> > agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the
bag.
> > The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
> > called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he
got
> > off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
> > >
> > >
> > > Idiot # 6
> > >
> > > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> > revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
> > the startled first bandit shot him. (This guy doesn't need a sign, he
> > probably figured it out himself.)
> > >
> > >
> > > Idiot # 7
> > >
> > > Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that
> > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head
> > at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief
on
> > the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was
made
> > of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. (Oh, that
> > smarts!)
> > >
> > >
> > > Idiot # 8
> > >
> > > Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> > into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun
and
> > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open
> > the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings,
> > the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated,
> > walked away.
> > >
> > > Please note that these people are allowed to vote!
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